Consider this my PSA for now. I support women and families in whatever way they need and want through the birth and postpartum period.
ALL WOMEN, ALL FAMILIES, ALL CHOICES, ALL BIRTHS.
I'm taking an intense Montessori training, and that's a different post for a different day, but if you know anything about Montessori education, you know that the children reach their full potential when they are simply supported in the right environment. I have already seen so many correlations in this training to what I am already doing with birthing women.
YOU are most successful when you don't feel pressured from anyone to birth in any certain way...when YOU know your goals and are given the tools and the environment to achieve them.
YOU know how to give birth and deserve to do it on your terms, in your own unique way. WHATEVER that means to you.
Being supported in birth is not about an ideal, it's YOUR journey. NO matter what occurs, you should have loving, NON-JUDGEMENTAL support throughout the entire process.
YOU are the only person who can define what YOUR ideal is. No one should do that for you. And whoever you choose to be a part of that journey should have the wisdom and insight to allow YOU to make your own choices and decisions in that process.
As a doula, I support you in a gentle, loving, accepting way. I know that you will have YOUR best birth, I don't need to bring in my own ideals or agenda.
When I encounter people who don't understand the role of a doula, they automatically think that MY goal for my clients is natural birth...or that's all I attend. My goal for my clients is to support their birth, however they want and need...and that's the end of the story.
I give AMAZING NATURAL BIRTH support.
I give AMAZING EPIDURAL BIRTH support.
I give AMAZING CESAREAN BIRTH support.
I give AMAZING SUPPORT to every client, no matter where or how they give birth.
And when plans change, I STILL give AMAZING support...
I want YOU satisfied with your birth. I will never judge you. End of story.
Much love to you and yours from Fort Worth, Texas. Let me know how I can help you have the birth you want. ~Abbey Robinson, CD Labor-ProDoula
Last week I moved into a lovely new apartment. I love my apartment. I am so excited to be here.
Yesterday, I got up to fix coffee and take the girls swimming before the guy came to set up the internet and phone. My 5 year old was excited and she jumped a few times.
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. It was the downstairs neighbor.
SIX days. Six days we've lived here and I am already bothering the downstairs neighbor. SIX days. I could have been nicer. I could have been more apologetic. I was just so shocked and sad that we were already too loud after being here such a short period of time.
Maybe an hour later, I recieved a phone call from the apartment manager about the noise complaint. WHAT? Now I'm just angry. Why would the neighbor come talk to me AND file a complaint with the office. I tried to explain that my 5 year old had been spoken to numerous times about neighbors and keeping it down but she's 5. I was distraught. The manager wasn't nice. She lectured me about 'dropping things' and how in my lease agreement, people have the right to a peaceful environment. Jaw dropped.
Instead of being defensive, angry, hurt, and making assumptions...and making enemies, I decided to bring her a peace offering. My 5 year old picked out some cupcakes and a candle, flowers and a card. My 9 year old wrote a letter and they both signed it. I wrote how sorry we were that we were loud and that we would try to do better.
When we delivered the gift bag... Our neighbor was almost moved to tears. We had a heartfelt conversation and she apologized profusely for causing us stress.
It turns out, she never filed a complaint. She simply made a "harmless" post on facebook and the apartment manager saw it (they are friends) and took it upon herself to call me.
This brings up an entirely new issue with the management telling me a complaint was filed when it wasn't...but the neighbor is kind and sweet and we have a great relationship where it could have been very very bad.
She wrote a handwritten card to me, further apologizing, and brought the girls a bag of crafts and glowsticks and fun things. They immediately ran down to thank her. Now I'm thankful she is my neighbor.
I currently have a situation in my professional life very similar to this... a story is being shared about me that isn't true, only I have never been given the opportunity to have that face-to-face conversation and clear up the assumptions and misconceptions. It's amazing what a kind gesture can do... a little grace. An open heart and sincerity.
Abbey Robinson, ProDoula CD-Labor
Abbey is a birth and postpartum doula and placenta specialist in Dallas/Fort Worth and a mom to 4 children between the ages of 21 and 7.